Where it all began. The granddaddy of EA EA


Where it all began. The granddaddy of EA

The first (famous) Escort reviewer

The first written Escort review, penned in 1509, was by Niccolò Machiavelli (you may have heard of him if not, Google him and you’ll get the measure of the man).

His first account was in a letter to a good friend where he spoke about an experience looking for some “company” in fair Verona. In the letter, Machiavelli describes a disturbing sexual encounter with a prostitute. According to Machiavelli, he was “very horny without his wife” and was lured into the home of a washerwoman. Once inside she offered him the services of a woman with “a towel over her head and face”. “I was now completely terrified, however since I was alone with her in the dark, I gave her a good hump. Even though I found her thighs flabby, her genitals greasy and her breath stinking a bit, my lust was so desperate that I went ahead and gave it to her anyway”.

When their liaison was over, Machiavelli managed to find a lamp and was able to shine a light on the woman. “My God, she was so ugly that I almost dropped dead… a tuft of hair, half white and half black, the top of her head was bald which allowed you to see several lice taking a stroll… Her eyebrows were full of nits; one eye looked down and the other up … her nose was twisted into a peculiar shape, the nostrils were full of snot and one of them was half missing. Her mouth, twisted on one side and drooling since she had no teeth to keep the saliva in her mouth. Her lip was covered with a thin but rather long moustache…”.

I bet Machiavelli could have done with Escort Advisor that day!

As you can read, the description is crude but shows the importance of publishing reviews to help punters to find the right Escort.
So, follow in the famous footsteps of Machiavelli and avoid bad experiences for the future! Describe your encounter and let’s make the experience of punting safer and more gratifying for you and others.

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